Roadies- wow.

My first day in the show ……spoke to people. Had no idea what was happening on the show. I didn't know the game as I had never seen the show before. I met different kind people there but I didn't think anyone was a threat. As I didn't know what is a 'threat' on roadies. After hanging around the whole day with these guys, I understood one thing they were just not my type .Well Ashutosh, I found him kinda 'ok' as he shared my kind of humour. So as time passed, I played bluff and no one cud beat me in that. I honestly had no idea what was happening. People conspiring and getting worried as if the world is coming to an end. I just found it really hilarious, forgetting I had no immunity either. Strange I didn't think I could get voted out.

My vote saved me. As Ayaz was a crap captain, I was so bored I made a greeting card [as my joke which only I understand n find it funny] so I couldn't have made him a card n voted him out only.

Then Probhjot n Ankita were kind of cool so I dint think of voting them out.

So I was left with Vibhour, I wanted to vote him out. Just before the vote out vibhor made this really cute innocent face n said, "please yaar don't vote me'' I said fine. After committing I couldn't go against him.

So now only one guy was left - Varun. So I guessed, it was his turn. I had 5 votes. All these 5 people were my friends - Prabhjot n Ankita, Ayaz who I sat n made the card, Vibhour after making me change my mind. And my vote made it 6 and he was thrown out instead.

I think I voted against Simran because she was kind of getting on my nerves babbling some shit stories how I should vote against whom n bore the hell out of me. And I kind of used to find it funny…I didn't really understand what this Delhi - Delhi thing was all about…. for me it was whom ever you make friends with..[I really had no idea abt the show]

The reason why people thought I was weird was because in the banana boat task when I was not chosen and I had to cheer my team .. The banana boat was 3 km away from the beach , I thought how could my team members even hear me. So I decided not to waste my time cheering to an empty sea like sneha uncle did. I just didn't see the need to do so..

2nd episode….I didn't know we were meant to do this, while walking towards the bike I realized everyone had chosen a bike n partner a night before. I looked behind and I saw Ashutosh and I asked him if its ok - if I sat behind him. He seemed pretty cool with it. As he n I were the only two people who weren't asked. There was only one yellow bike which no one seemed to like except me. Well, riding with him was fun, how many thing we had in common. I could not take this tension kind of stuff, I used to find it so funny. I also feared if I got caught, laughing.

Well we had our task.. I laughed for days after this task. I told Ayaz I will give him immunity. I honestly didn't think it was a big deal… Could not understand why people didn't give him immunity. Same day I got to know that the whole blue team voted against me- Ayaz Vibhour, Probhjot, Ayaz ,Ankita.. I thought it was cool. Vibhor conspired against me and wanted to vote me out but I voted him out instead … funny huh!

3^rd vote out…..Well this was our advantage task. I wanted to be with Ashutosh as I knew in case I mess up the task he wont lose his mind nor will he think it's the end of the of the universe. But God had another funny plan; I was paired with my favorite, Sneha uncle. Uncle begged me to row the boat. But I insisted otherwise just to irritate him. I won my first advantage but more than myself I was happy for uncle, and that at least I will be able to face him after using my mind. Uncle did a smart thing by not coming up to me n asking me to vote Vikrant out else I wud'nt have. Vikrant wanted me to vote ayaz out , my heart would not have allowed that as he was so badly injured. Plus I don't like people telling me what to do. At the same time I knew Vikrant's plan to use us [delhi crap which he only made & then throw me out later] I was slightly smarter here as I caught on to his intentions when I spoke to him in goa. As he had promised me that he will take me to top 5. I even understood y he wanted 4 delhi girls so that he could have their support and yet be a better performer (thought he) n also he belived girls wont have unity, so he can take advantage of that.HAHA… I did really get it. Only one thing was in my mind ''beta teri maa hoon''I just kept quiet. As I questioned myself asking why he would do it.I knew he thought too much. .Or Vikrant just thought others did not think. This is where his thought was wrong…I clearly knew his intention that he was just wanting to use me, even if he[as he thought he will take people there .ha ha ha] did take him to top 5, I was certain he would throw me out..I just wasn't that dumb not to figure that out.! From this vote out I started to play my game for now I knew "The delhi gang" is not with me, No one was ….I had to play my game. .That's what I loved. For me I had made my few set of enemies.. Sounded fun to me.

4^th vote out-

MY worst vote out as my favorite uncle left only because of me.. I can never forgive myself for it.. When I saw Sneha uncle, I didn't know 40 yrs old people r part of roadies. I thought uncle should have gone for '5vi pass se tez' he would have had higher chance of winning that ,than winning roadies .He wore a superman shirt[uncles desperate need to look young, so we can think he is 16 and a half] Uncle just presumed I don't have mind of my own as I refused to cheer an empty sea and wont cry over spilled milk[ I just wasn't as cool as uncle]. If I didn't do the task I m not going to cry over it [my mother forgot to teach me that] Uncle used his brain for the most irrelevant things in life, like giving useless advise to show people he is smart.[who cares to be smart, plus no duhh hhhhh u are going be smart if you are 40 yrs old.. ]I don't know when uncle is so smart why didn't he understand something basic like the youth [all the roadies] doesn't listen to anyone…hellloooo[ if we all listen to our parents we probably wouldn't be on roadies] this no one knows about uncle, uncle eats butter chicken and naan with fork and knife. considering he has lived his life in India. [I know its some random shit but had to share it with you guys] Uncles logics were very stange. As in, uncle actually believes just because someones hair colour is blonde, she is going to be dumb. uncle there are no rules in life. Uncle you had black hair and age on yourside[40] still you couldn't prove your intelligence. Uncle people are changing now, these are myths ,about people being blonde, a sikh, or tall are dumb. Any one who thinks like that, should learn a lesson from uncle s logics.Something about uncles presence just used to amuse me.

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This vote out was decided by me..Again uncle wanted to use me threw Prabhjot. Probhjot came with the most ridiculous reason, which was shambhvi is trying to get all the men at her side and using them. So what?It takes a lot to use men.,]I got immunity. I knew I will win the task after all I did learn something from mrs kriti sharma [my drama teacher] We won it. Raghu came and swapped the immunity, I really had no trouble with that for two reasons.I knew no one will vote against me ,today. 2^nd my vote will be the deciding vote. Nor I thought uncle will be that lucky to get immunity. For me uncle was strange he thought he's just so sharp [lets not judge there, everyone has misconceptions about themselves, this was just uncle's] Uncle never understood me expect he thought I was a fool like everybody else [because uncle just thought everyone is a fool ,but him]With me uncle felt really stuck what do to, Uncle presumed I will have a problem with Anmol n Shambhvi and that I can go against them. I never had problem with them because they didn't matter to me. I knew one thing till u have people like Uncle to do stuff for you, there is no problem , for instance make the game a game of divide and rule ! after uncle did this, he wasn't needed anymore. Because of your smartness uncle I benefited.[and many dumb people in uncles words] in short Uncle you do know how much I love you.I can never forgive myself for me being the reason of loosing you. Uncle little secret u didn't know, it was me who made u the captain, as I knew this time was your vote out so I needed to make sure before uncle leave he must enjoy the glory of being captain,so atleast you wont think its unfair.I m leo uncle I do fair things.. Thou you are not in the game, but I still feel your presense .you might have gone far but you still stay alive amongst us in our hearts..I pray you cope with this trauma and ,are still alive to congratulate the winner.I love you and god bless.

5^th vote out-on the camp ,where all of were bonding .I expressed openly my game.I m playing my game alone. The vote out was 50-50.But I felt terrible that ankita had to leave.In our confussion..Ankita for me was really loving and cool person who really stood for what she believed in. She never really felt the need to prove her presence.the reason I felt no one took her seriously was because she wasn't good in the tasks.[nor that any one was better] Its Just she will express her fear openly ..I was personally was fond her.

6^th vote out- I refuse to believe Nihal lost immunity on purpose, I just know he is a terrible cricket player….. period. Probhjot told me to vote her out, nor I had an option.I Know what I felt on her vote out.I knew this game is about back stabbing and all of that crap but I hate to see that side of mine. This was the longest night for me. I was sickened by myself. This was the time when I could not believe I was such a low person.The whole night, I had this sinking feeling.

THE BIG BANG- when we went there.I was so thrilled to see Probhjot. And went crazy laughing when I saw my uncle..[who I had been missing for so fucking longgggggggggg and was praying for his long life] vikrant-oooopssssssss.I was getting threaten by uncle n vik .As these guys couldn't believe the person they thought was a seating duck ,was the reason of them not being in the game.They just didn't understand my 'dumb game' Strange as always. For me major vote outs were my deciding vote of uncle and vik.. This task I just kept my finger on the person, I wanted to win and he won. Nihal, Ashutosh and Probhjot.

Ayaz- I had to vote him out for one of the reasons -1.we had a strong feeling ankita and varun will also come,because how can they not when everybody else will! Ayaz would team up with varun .As ayaz in the first episode chose varun the first person in this team. So that they don't form a team and all our hard work will go in the drain. 2^nd reason was Ayaz once was ready to vote me out on uncles vote out despite I had given him immunity and said him[n send vik out] which I understood of him that he can go against me.3^rd reason I found Ayaz so nice ,over diplomatic the best bit I couldn't sit with him because he was so boring. So his going out just would nt make a difference to me. Where as vibhour was fun, I thought he deserved a chance.

Anmol- .About Anmol I found her very fascinating. As I have never seen anyone who can hate themselves as much as anmols hated herself. Cause the way she behaved, [you can only do that if you hated your own sight] The was she made a fool of herself. HOW is it humanly possible for any one to hate everything.I mean literally be it people, food, location, weather, clothes, not only her clothes other roadies clothes. [Only according to me, not that I was better, but as this is my blog , its just going to be my perception.]I found kind of cool , how her every conversation with anyone did have 'as it is, I hate…'

That's all I recall of her.

Shambhvi- I didn't want to vote her out,I thought the two vote outs would be free .As in Ankita or Varun. We don't need to throw anyone of us. About shambhvi ,I loved what a free sprit person she was.She did what she felt like.She truly lived the moment. Though I was never friends with her but I liked how she will go against anyone who says anything to anyone she likes .She will stand for friend blindly that was her belief, despite they are wrong. Shambhvi tries really hard to care what people had to say, but she just couldn't pull it for too long.She would do what her heart told her to.That one thing I truly admired about her.I felt terrible when people kept pointing a finger at shambhvi about her love affairs. I hated no one held nihal responsible for any thing. Nihal was doing the same thing as shambhvi was doing.Nihal tried his luck with Anmol he didn't get lucky.Shambhvi being a pretty woman got lucky.I guess when one is pretty and is a women things tend to go against her.No male on the show could take what shambhvi was doing ,where as they were so up for it.When she didn't get with them they became against her.I don't know why was nihal so troubled with her being with another guy .When he himself told everyone he has no feeling for her. The accusation ,Against her I just couldn't take.I felt very bad on her vote out when nihal started to speak things against her.And I didn't stand up for her. Ashutosh saying if Shambhvi was her sister he would kill her.And would be chilling with her for her votes.How convenientl people just only saw shambhvi, missed everyone else.Plus she didn't do anything wrong, even if it was her game plan .Why were guys party to her dos ?All I know all the guys were more than willing to get in an affair with her.I admire anyone who follows their heart.

VARUN-Varun, like before came with a mind set of playing the politics. He didn't learn from his previous mistakes. The fun bit about varun is that you shud know how to press the button and varun will react in the same certain way. I never had a problem with him, I was just having fun abusing him and all. The fun bit was that the poor guy even won advantage. He didn't know who ever I make the captain that person has to leave.Thats the way I would say good bye to people. Varun is fun guy .Only if I had known him more than just 4 days.

Vibhour- hands down ,no one can make me laugh and almost piss in my pant the way vibhour can.I have don't think there a better mimic than him.Vibhour ,feared the vote outs a lot. All he did started to make a game to break us. That was the time we knew,its his time to go….The only problem vibour had was he couldn't trust anyone. And trusted the wrong people vibhour to vote out ashutosh , vibhour should have gone to probhjot not nihal .Hello! What were you thinking.?????

Probhjots vote out- I truly loved her.She was honestly a cool person to be with.I got Probhjot a bad habit of mine, laughing at everything for no reason. Begging the mtv crew for biscuits and chocolate. Both of will go in hiding so we don't need to share it with any one. She was of one the closest people there. We shared great time .I would tease her so much after every task, if she didn't win immunity ,she used to be so worried. She and I won all the same task ,we both were neck to neck. Kick boxing was only fun task because it was with probhjot. Because its only with her I felt the compition.It was challenging.Though she and I had totally different set of friends. Well her vote outs were terrible for me. Second vote out for me was bad because Ashutosh promised me that till the time we have others to vote out.they wont vote her out,I knew the game was coming to an end.

ANKITA-She really came with a surprise for all of us.I didtn't think she will last time top 4.she was meant to go way before according to me. Again we all the know she had to leave in her own captaincy. Well about anikta I couldn't decide if I liked her or not.She would bugg me with her baby voice but at times she would be really fun to hang out with.I always made an attempt to keep my distance.I had three friends on the show more than enough. At times I would get tempted to like her but I would force myself to be nasty to her.So she should even come to me to suggest me anyones name.I would leave her to eat probhjots head at time.I knew she spoke against me, but it never mattered to me.Will get to know her better.

NIhal-He was just so cute.Nihal was always so confused and scared always felt he was the victim.he did ask for it.He would say so much ,then I had to worry baby the next vote out But I knew one thing he had which lots of roadies didn't have have ….ie true friends. Nihal used make so fun of me the only one who will mock me behind my back. Because we all know what a big coward nihal really was .For me he was that empty vessel which made the most noise. This was the most adorable thing about my little nihal .He knew I would rather laugh at it than frown upon it. The comments he would pass on me would be really funny.I had to admit.At time I would pretend to be hurt and all that crap then would give In…. won't be able to pull it for too long. What I was angry with him was when on shambhvi's vote out, he spoke shit about her. Which I thought was just not acceptable.

I felt he was part of everything and he had no right to play innocent and blame it on her.[nihal was jealous of varun…hahahha]I was pissed with him but you cant be pissed with him for too long ,you know he will do something goofy again, thats nihal. I did correct him next morning.The reason I liked nihal is that he remind me of my childhood,As I would kept getting scared of different people. Its that just every one has to fall in love with this coward guy.

Ashutosh- HMMMM!! His hypocrisy will get to me .He will keep commenting on shambhvi nature but will forget about nihal. Other than that about ashutosh .He was my bike rider,after knowing him .I felt he was the only on who can out smart me.[considering I m so dumb,as quoted by intelligent people sitting at there homes] It was strange but his and my thinking was process was very similar .I also figured, he figured me out.the way I figured him out,.and everyone perceived us as the non threat.[fool? Weren't we so obvious] but I guess the intelligent people had a smarter plan back home.

What no one knows-I told ashutosh on the third episode, that I will make sure he wins the game.I don't know why I said it. .I don't know why I said it .Knowing him was strangely knowing a male version of me.At time it would be so suprising that he and would think exactly the same.!he and i never cried over spilled milk .Rather took humour out of it.

Ashutosh -I think is on of the few people I knew who how to embarrass me.ITS not easy to embarrass me, and ashutosh used to do a fairly good job of that.I started to have little crush on him.But I never knew what he felt for or even if he did.While my vote out, when I asked him out.He knew how nervous I got.Then to embarrass me further he asked me say the hole thing in hindi.At this point I just wanted to run,I was getting so shy. I knew ashutosh knew what I was asking him. He was playing dumb, and I had no way to prove it to anyone ,that he is just taking my trip..Well looking forward for our date.

My vote out-For me it was there that nihal definite,to go number 2 for me. He wasn't too sure of it but I was. Coming to top three with the best friends .It really didn't matter who wins.It like nihal,ashutosh, me winning for me it was the same. I was kind of glad I didn't win immunity. I know I would hate to stand there and choose between nihal and ashutosh. They both can fight about it. I guess I am women after all.[hehe]they are some rules in life,like friends over a man or a women. Ashutosh followed that.[that's the reason ,I liked him]Him not choosing me over Nihal.would show something else about ashutosh.I would judge that person pretty low. If I had to choose over probhjot and ashutosh.No duh I would have choosen probhjot.I was so happy to be called top three

This game was very strange to me-I felt like a queen in this game.Who even I wrote the name on the vote out that person left.Even when every one came back.Who every I wanted to win that person won. I feel I decieded the whole dam game.

My confrontation with everyone- all the 10 smart roadies[who just came back from home, getting even smarter] were abusing and cursing me .It just didn't matter nor I cared . Its like when shambhvi says something you know she is just lying [she made love stories or rather only sex stories, anikta and vikrant, probhjot – sneauncle,]Its strange how shambhvi was the only roadie who witness the only sex details of roadies. {dam it ,cant belive4 I missed all this despite I stayed the longest], so one cant mind anything ,she says. Anmol still hating herself making a bigger fool of herself.And what can I say about the other smart people I knew they were very troubled that I was in the game and like always it was me who chose which two people will go ahead.In short everyone was jealous my two men who went forward ASHUTOSH and NIHAL. I didn't mind anything they said.Its troubled them that I was very happy to be out and not at all hurt of ashutosh not choosing me.They were trying to poison me against them.[like hell, I will get influnced,by the smart one here.]

But I didn't think, as I never was so hurt or scared so badly the day I met every one. There was only reason for it, probhjot .I learnt that only gets hurt by someone very close.I had heard the saying but first time , realsied the depth of it .Everything was going fine as I could take it very well.[there coments just weren't effectively me at all all, I was playing along]But the cold presence of probhjot killed me.I didn't want her to fight my battle,because I never fight anyone's, nor let them fight mine. She sat quietly after playing a dirty game with me. And kept sitting silently as if she had nothing to do with it.Just the thought that someone like probjot who I only know how dearly I loved her.After that I just couldn't get over that I cried for some who is that cold and vindictive even towards me.It was traumatizing that probhjot would do it,and will be party with othesr over me. In this situation I looked at her, I was expecting a smile from her express it o.k. That's all I was looking for.I knew her smile would have just made me so happy. Well I really was for in for surprise about roadies. As I never felt any deceit from any one. I learnt something about me,I sure l about my reading toward people. And I did read her wrong. I felt considering I took her a true friend whom I will keep for life. Instead of support u backstabbed me..thats what I would call.

It was vibhour who I had no expectation from he looked at me gave me look that's it fine.I did feel a bit comfort .Just couldn't belive ashutiosh reading about probhjot was this accurate.

Roadies – the game is about nothing but the survival of the fitst wins…simple.Well if u think you were smart.. u just werer nt smart enough..This game is about survival of the FITEST.

But one thing I m very sure about no matter what happens, we all roadies will hangout together for sure…. Don't be surprised on that… because we are roadies 5.0. Unpredictable.